Friday, February 20, 2015

Finally, a Bit of an Explanation....

Back when I was guest designing for Chi Chi Memories, I was quite possibly the worst guest designer ever. You see, it's not that I didn't love the images, or appreciate the opportunity, but a lot happened in my life during the time that I was designing for them, and stamping became less of a priority. I made cards for them, several of them, and never even blogged them.  So for that, I truly apologize to the team at Chi Chi Memories, and to all of their fans and designers. I spoke a bit about being sick, and having headaches, but I never really went into detail about that....well, here goes.

Last year in March, I moved to Louisville for work, and what had always been severe migraines that were slowly becoming completely resistant to medicine, became even worse. I finally broke down and went to a urgent care center, who immediately referred me to a Neurologist. During the testing they did to find out what might be causing my migraines, they stumbled upon something completely unexpected. In fact, when my doctor told me she was sending me for an MRI, she said "we don't usually find anything, but we like to look just in case." Well, the results shocked both her, and myself, to the core. The results were even more shocking because I didn't receive them until a month after my MRI....which had made me, by then, think that nothing serious could be wrong, or they would have called me by now. I mean, after all my blood work went through, they immediately had me on iron for my anemia(new problem), vitamin D for my severe deficiency(pasty white chick problems), and B12 for my severe lack of it(and energy, dios mio)... so in my mind, it stood to reason that they would have called me by now.  When they finally did call me, my doctor asked if I was alone, which I was, and then asked me to sit down because she had some news to tell me. She started by apologizing, and I could hear the shakiness in her voice, so I know it was truly heartfelt, and not news she wanted or even expected to have to deliver. Meghan started by explaining that she did NOT want to tell me this over the phone, but there were several appointments that she needed to schedule, and she didn't want to start scheduling them and freak me out by making me wait to tell me. That's when she finally broke the news to me, that my MRI showed that I have Multiple Sclerosis. 

MS......and my mind and body went completely numb. 

I had heard of MS, and knew it was a thing, but I honestly had NO clue what it meant, all I knew was I was scared, and I didn't know what to do or think. She told me what our immediate plan of attack was going to be: an intial consult with her to do some more blood tests, neuro testing, vision screening, two more MRI's of my spine and orbits, and 5 days of high dose steroid treatments. 
She honestly could have told me that we were going to go to Camelot on horseback and paint rainbows on kittens, and I would have agreed with her and told her I'd be there...because honestly, I stopped listening at some point.  When I finally came to my senses, after we were off the phone, I immediately called my mom, who is a nurse, and my dad, and we all cried. My mom did her best to explain to me what MS was, and what was going to happen to me....but honestly, nothing can truly prepare you for something like this. My Dad started a prayer chain with his family, and told me that everything was going to be fine, because that's what good Daddys do.  Both of my parents dropped everything to rush to be with that week, and I will forever be greatful for that. 

I'm not going to lie, some days it is tough. Flare ups are nothing to joke about, and the headaches haven't gotten any better, either. I have to give myself shots 3 times a week, and take so much medication I have to have a pill box to keep it all straight. Some days it's all I can do to drag myself out of bed and just keep going, but I have an amazing support system, and a hobby I love, so it keeps me going.  I will say this though:  if you can avoid having to go on IV steriod treatments for 5 days straight for the rest of your life, do that....good gried, that was the worst thing ever. Looking back now, and knowing what the symptoms for MS are, which are very common, easy to overlook things, I do see now that things that I would attribute to the migraines were actually the MS.

 I'm not telling you this story for pity, or for attention, but to let you know why things are the way they are around here. I have lost a ton of followers, and I know that, and for a blog that used to get over 200 views a day, to get barely 40, it truly makes me sad....so for those of you that stuck around, thankyou for your support, it means the world to me.

Now, after all that depressing stuff, back to the good stuff!!



Here is a card I made using the super cute and fun Good Day digi from Chi Chi memories. I paired it with Lemon Drop, Sour Apple, and Bubblegum cardstock from MFT...as well as Smooth White. My ribbon is Lemon Drop Grosgrain, and I also used Berrylicious buttons from MFT. To finish, I used brads from Michaels.

Well, that is it for me for now!! Hope you have an amazing day, and my story didn't make you too sad!! See you tomorrow with more goodies!!

19 comments:

  1. ((((Jessie)))) wow. I'm so sorry for what you've had to go through. I know what it's like to be absolutely shocked by a diagnosis (re: Carter). Stay strong, sister, and know that you are loved & supported by many, including me.

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  2. Hi,
    I a attaching a link to a book and program that you might find very interesting. It helps with MS. Terry Whals was confined to a wheel chair and is now almost back to normal. Her story is quite amazing

    http://terrywahls.com

    Another great person to check out is Donna Gates from Bodyecology. I just finished listening to the healthy gut summit , which was very informative. Heal the gut and you start to heal a lot of diseases.
    They are worth your time to check out,
    Wishing you good health,
    Susan

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  3. I have followed you for years and I think you are one of the best! I am so sorry for the news, my best friend has lived with MS for years, it is a hard thing because so many people just do not understand how some days are good and some you cannot get out of bed. Just know you have "friends" out here who support you and will always be thinking of you.
    ((HUGS)))

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  4. I'm sorry to hear this. I can't even imagine what your going through. I just want to let you know that I never stopped reading your blog. I am an email subscriber, so I read your posts in my in-box and I don't come over here unless I want to 'pin' one of your creations. You've always been one of my favorite paper crafters.

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  5. Jessie, you have been in my prayers ever since you told us at TCP of your diagnosis last year. Continued healing thoughts and prayers for you.

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  6. Big Hugs!!!!! So sorry you are having to go through this! Love, love your work! Take care of yourself!!

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  7. I am so sorry to hear this and I do wish you the best. I am one of your newest followers and although I do not comment much I think you are very creative and talented. Your message brought tears to my eyes as it seems we all have our burdens to face in life. I am so glad you have the support of your family. You are on my prayer list and just know we are all thinking of you.

    By the way I love your card. It's fabulous...Hugs, joann

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  8. Wow Jessie, I knew you'd been quiet for a long time and I really missed your work, but I think bloggers get to decide how much to put out there and didn't want to pry. God bless you and I wish for you the best. MS is a weird disease hitting people at different times and in different ways. I remember when I went to the neurologist (finally) and he said I didn't have anything wrong with me I just cried and cried and cried because it meant I had untreatable migraines and he was so confused! He thought I'd be happy! Well, now my migraines are essentially treatable and many other things are not, and some have treatments but no cures. I love your cards and I hope you know you have fans and we'll support you come hell or high water so I hope whatever they get you doing works! Cyber hugs to you Jessie! XOXO, Mary

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  9. PS, Perfect card, excellent image! I need her!

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  10. You know I'm your biggest fan--sorry that I can't make it here often to leave comments but know I do look at all your gorgeous creations!
    Also know that I'm thinking of you and all you are going through--you are such an amazing person!
    Sending you love and hugs!

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  11. I am so sorry to hear of your problems and diagnosis of MS. Sending many prayers and (((Hugs))).
    I have always admired your card style and all the layers & colors you use on your cards. Your card today is so cute. Love the sweet image.

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  12. Oh my Jessie...sorry to read of your diagnosis. MS is a real booger. I must tell you that I have an auntie almost 90 years old that lives with MS and she makes it happen everyday! She takes care of herself and is forever keeping up on the latest treatments. I am so glad you have your parents to give you strength girl! Take Care!!

    Your card is so bright and cheerful! TFS.

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  13. I too have followed by email for years and rarely comment because I'm not coming to your site to read your posts. But I had to comment this time... I too have been dealing with weird, unpredictable migraines for the last 5 years but I was diagnosed 12 years ago with an autoimmune disease very similar to Rheumatoid Arthritis. I thought my life and hobbies were over. There will always be bad days, but you learn to make the most of the good days. You learn just how strong you can be when you don't really have another choice ;-) You can do this!

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  14. Oh my, Jessie! So very, very sorry you have had this diagnosis. I am amazed at what you have been able to create considering the debilitating effects of MS. I will keep you in my prayers for healing, strength, peace and comfort. Take care of yourself! Hugs, Judy

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  15. Jessie, I rarely read your blog but I enjoy the images on Facebook and Pinterest. I'm glad I came over here. I will pray tht you are able to find a plan that will allow you to function at optimal capacity. ;). This is a big mountain to climb but defiantly not too high or too hard for you. Keep climbing, keep your chin up and keep looking UP!

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  16. I can only say Wow! I subscribe to your blog through email and love your cards...I can always pick them up, you have such a bright, cheerful style. I'm glad that you finally know what's causing your health issues; although I wish it were something easier to resolve. I thought I had "lost" the email connection, but I'm glad you're able to do a bit of blogging again. When I see your cards, I'll be reminded of what you're going through and will keep you in my prayers.

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  17. Jessie so sorry to hear of your diagnosis. I love your amazing work and wish you the best.

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  18. Wow HKR, that was one honest post! But sometimes getting it out helps hey! YOU know you can always come to me, if you need it, even just to vent! I wish I could send you my healthcare cause I can't imagine what all that is costing you! I am glad you have tons of support! And we are here for you, no matter what! LOVE YA!

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  19. Dear Jessie,

    First of all, I am so sorry to hear this news. I know it has been very difficult for you. I have lupus, which interfered with my life and my career back in 1998 when it reared its ugly head just when I least expected it. I know exactly how you feel with all the tests, medications, etc. But I want to tell you that even though your life has changed, life does go on even with an illness. It changes, but it can still be wonderful and good. When I look back, I have actually had blessings that could only have come with lupus. I also want you to know that I have been subscribed to your blog for years now and have always looked forward to your posts. I may not comment, but I am here, enjoying you and your work. You are not alone in the world! I am sending you my love and prayers. xoxoxo

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